The second in our series exploring step work in CoDA
In our previous article, we looked at step work as the foundation of recovery in CoDA. In this second article in the series, we turn our attention to sponsorship, the relationship that so often brings the steps to life and helps transform them from concepts into lived experience.
Sponsorship is one of the primary ways that recovery is shared in CoDA, offering guidance, accountability, and connection. It is a relationship grounded in equality, service, and mutual respect.
A sponsor is another CoDA member who has already worked the steps and can guide someone through them.
Sponsors offer structure, accountability, and support. The relationship is built on trust, confidentiality, and mutual respect. Sponsorship is often considered the most traditional and robust way to work the steps.
Drawing on the experience of both sponsors and sponsees, this article explores what sponsorship can offer, the challenges it may bring, and the hope it continues to provide within the Fellowship.
The Sponsee’s Perspective:
From Confusion to Clarity
Several sponsees shared that while meetings were vital in the early days of recovery, there came a point where they felt “stuck.” One described hitting a wall after several months, attending meetings regularly but still feeling confused about the steps and unsure how to apply them in daily life. Hearing others speak about their sponsors helped them recognise that more direct guidance was needed.
Choosing a sponsor was often intuitive rather than strategic. Sponsees spoke of being drawn to people who shared honestly about their struggles, particularly around people-pleasing, shame, or relational patterns, and who did not present themselves as having it all together. Noticing how someone listened, spoke to others, or responded without judgement in meetings was often a deciding factor.
Working with a sponsor was described as a turning point. Where step work had previously felt intellectual or theoretical, sponsorship helped translate it into action. Sponsors asked questions that encouraged self-reflection, highlighted patterns that were difficult to see alone, and gently held sponsees accountable. Regular contact, often weekly, created consistency and momentum, helping members stay engaged even when the work felt uncomfortable.
Several sponsees shared moments where a single question from their sponsor profoundly shifted their perspective. One recalled complaining about a colleague, only to be asked, “How are you participating in this dynamic?” What initially triggered defensiveness later opened the door to insight about validation-seeking and personal responsibility. These moments were described not as confrontational, but as invitations to deeper awareness.
Honesty was frequently named as one of the greatest challenges of being a sponsee. Fear of judgement or shame sometimes led to minimising struggles or withholding details. Over time, sponsors’ consistent acceptance helped sponsees learn that honesty brought freedom rather than rejection. Another common fear was “being a burden,” which sponsors repeatedly reassured them was not the case. Sponsorship exists precisely to offer this kind of support.
As recovery progressed, relationships with sponsors evolved. What often began as a structured, step-by-step process became more spacious and flexible, while still maintaining clear boundaries. Increased independence did not mean less depth, instead, conversations became more meaningful, rooted in trust and mutual respect.
Importantly, sponsees described significant changes beyond the rooms. With their sponsor’s support, they learned to set boundaries, communicate needs, and step out of people-pleasing or controlling behaviours. Some ended unhealthy relationships, others formed new ones based on honesty and equality. Sponsorship became a training ground for healthier connection.
To those afraid to ask for a sponsor, the message was consistent: the fear is normal, and it is worth moving through. Recovery is worth the discomfort. Sponsors are not there to judge, but to help. If one connection does not work out, another can be sought. What matters is taking the first step.
The Sponsor’s Perspective:
Service That Strengthens Recovery
Sponsors spoke about sponsorship as a natural extension of their own step work. Many began sponsoring after finishing the steps themselves and being encouraged by their own sponsor. Readiness was not about having all the answers, but about willingness, consistency, and a genuine desire to give back.
Sponsoring others was described as both humbling and strengthening. Sponsors noted that supporting a sponsee required them to practise the programme daily, to “walk the walk,” not just share theory. It deepened their own recovery, reinforced humility, and reminded them that recovery is not meant to be kept but shared.
Building trust and safety was seen as essential. Sponsors emphasised honesty, reliability, confidentiality, and sharing from personal experience rather than instruction. Trust was built over time through showing up consistently and maintaining clear, respectful boundaries.
Boundaries were repeatedly highlighted as vital. Sponsors were clear that they are not responsible for a sponsee’s recovery, outcomes, or emotional regulation. Time boundaries, emotional boundaries, and clarity about roles help prevent the sponsorship relationship from slipping into codependent dynamics and keep it focused on the programme.
Sponsors also addressed common myths. Sponsorship is not about being perfect, nor is it about fixing another person. It may not always feel equally rewarding in the moment, but over time many sponsors found they gained more than they gave, esteem, connection, and a deeper understanding of the steps and traditions.
When asked what message of hope they would offer to those considering sponsoring, sponsors described it as one of the most meaningful parts of recovery. Challenging at times, yes, but consistently rewarding, growth-enhancing, and deeply aligned with the spirit of CoDA.
Finding a Sponsor and Learning More About Sponsorship
There are several ways to find a sponsor in CoDA, including:
- Asking in meetings
- Posting in CoDA WhatsApp groups
- Contacting the CoDA UK Sponsorship Committee
For those interested in becoming a sponsor or learning more about sponsorship, information and support are available through:
- The CoDA UK Sponsorship Committee
- Sponsorship representatives in meetings that have them
- Flyers and pamphlets on codauk.org
- Informal conversations with existing sponsors
- Sponsorship workshops
Walking the Path Together
Sponsorship is not about authority or expertise, it is about companionship in recovery. It offers a way to engage with the steps more deeply, to practise healthy relationships, and to remember that none of us has to do this work alone.
As this series continues to explore step work in CoDA, sponsorship stands out as one of the clearest expressions of the programme in action, one member carrying the message to another, and in doing so, continuing their own journey of healing and growth.
Sponsorship Workshop
CoDA World Outreach Committee
14th Feb 2026
Time: 4 – 7:30pm
Featuring
✓ Sponsors/ Sponsees team speakers
✓ Step Study group
✓ Hospitals & Institutions Sponsorship-Edovo program
✓ Open & Breakout rooms for sharing
✓ 7th tradition donations welcome
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CoDA Sponsorship and Step Work is Always Free
Click HERE for more from the Healthy Meeting task Force.
For additional information about CoDA sponsorship click HERE.
